


Run, Run, As Fast As You Can

by ibelieveinturtles



Series: Donuts in My Bra and Other Stories [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bakery AU, Christmas, F/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, apocalyptic gingerbread, dlchristmas18, gingerbread, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieveinturtles/pseuds/ibelieveinturtles
Summary: Imagine Ghostbusters but with gingerbread





	Run, Run, As Fast As You Can

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2018 Darcy Lewis Holiday Challenge.
> 
> Day 2 prompt: Gingerbread - Darcy owns a bakery AU
> 
> Beta'd by zephrbabe, rated mature for swearing

 

* * *

  
Darcy ran down the street, caught up in the panicked crowd as sirens blared in the distance. Throwing a glance over her shoulder, she ducked into the mouth of an alley to catch her breath. Panting hard, she leaned against the wall and clutched at the stitch in her side.

Oh, gods. She was in so much trouble. Like, all the trouble.

The ground shook beneath her feet and there were screams from the road. She risked a peek around the corner to see what was happening. There it was, lumbering down the street like Godzilla or King Kong or a kaiju or some shit like that. Except it wasn't any of those things.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” she gasped to herself.

The crowd was beginning to thin so she slipped out of the alley, fully intending to flee at her fastest speed. There was a whine overhead, and she craned her neck around to see Iron Man flying towards her own personal version of the first Ghostbusters movie. Would they put her in an ordinary jail, she wondered, or was there a special prison for people who accidentally and completely unintentionally created a 300 foot Gingerbread Captain America?

Well, it wasn't all an accident… the gingerbread Captain America was very intentional. She'd definitely meant to make that. But it was only meant to be three feet tall. Not 300. Definitely NOT 300.

Speaking of whom…

Almost skidding around the corner, she slowed down and came to a stop. The Original VersionTM was now standing in the middle of the street in front of her, shield at the ready as he directed the fleeing populace away from the area.

Darcy felt herself deflate and a bubble of emotion filled her chest. It was hard to breathe.

Maybe if she owned up now she'd get a reduced sentence…

There was an explosion behind her and a scream ripped itself from her throat. Spinning on the spot, she saw that one arm had been torn off GingerCap and Hulk was perched on the other shoulder, doing his best to rip the head from the body. Giant pieces of gingerbread fell to the ground as Iron Man's rockets exploded into its torso and she screamed again, ducking beneath her own arms as a huge chunk flew towards her.

Death by her own creation seemed preferable to Super Villain prison right now, and she waited for the end…

Nothing happened.

She lowered her arms and opened her eyes. Standing in front of her, shield held high, was The Real Captain America, protecting her from the rain of cookie chunks falling from the sky.

That's one hell of an ass. The thought popped unbidden into her head and she groaned. Cos that was just what she should be thinking about right now.

The Original VersionTM whirled around, threw his free arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. Gingerbread continued to rain down on the shield and she whimpered.

“I'm so sorry,” she blurted out. “I never meant for this to happen. I don't _even know_ how this happened! I'm a baker. I bake things. I swear, I'm not a super villain. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to d- Oh god, I'm never making gingerbread again!”

There was a chuckle in her ear. “You made that? You're the baker?”

Darcy froze. Oh shit. She'd just babbled a full confession to Captain America himself.

“Um, no?” She tried to backtrack but discovered she couldn't handle the stress of lying to the epitome of Peace and Justice. “Yes,” she admitted. “It was me. I made it.”

He grinned at her and winked. “It's good gingerbread. I stole one of the little Iron Man cookies right before the big one got hit with the… well, whatever it was that made this happen.”

She gaped at him. “Wait - it's not my fault?”

He shook his head. “No, ma'am.”

The rain of gingerbread stopped and he carefully lowered the shield. The decapitated gingerbread Captain lay on the road in front of them, Hulk sitting in the middle of the wreckage, happily chewing on an arm.  
Captain America stood up, pulling Darcy to her feet after him. They surveyed the wreckage together and Darcy realised there were tears running down her cheeks.

“Are you okay?” the Captain asked.

Darcy nodded. “Yeah. It's just…” she paused to wipe her cheeks before turning a watery smile on him. “It took me three full days to make that damn thing. What a wasted effort.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, the kind of gingerbread sculpture I'm envisioning here is along these lines...
> 
> [Darth Vader](https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/darth-vader-gingerbread-man_us_56787f27e4b0b958f657ade1)
> 
> [Optimus Prime](https://io9.gizmodo.com/more-than-700-pieces-of-gingerbread-transformed-into-op-1487602465?IR=T)
> 
> My Tumblr, if you're interested, is [ibelieveinturtles](http://ibelieveinturtles.tumblr.com/)


End file.
